When memories bite back…

Hi & thank you for popping by.

I’ll admit it, I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself. This has likely been caused by an altercation with some recycling which caused a mini crash & 3 hours in bed asleep & resting…& I’d only been out of bed for 2 hours!!. At these times, even though I appreciate my duvet & the rest it offers, my mind becomes agitated & longs for days literally long gone. As in my mind it seems like only yesterday that I was striding up the path, with my trusty four legged friend excitedly trotting along beside me…

I know that I run the risk of contradicting myself, as my previous blog was on the very subject of rest. But rest as opposed to the frustration of crashes. It’s a see saw thing, which is unpleasant. But the subject deserves airing. I’m sure I’m not alone in often furiously burying these feelings that rear their heads & give a good bite… leading to these memories that bite back!

I linger for a little while at the back gate…perching stick at the ready, gazing out for a little while. The flimsy plastic of the recycling bag flapping in the August wind. How minute this condition can make your world. I know little of the changes that go on beyond that boundary. The evening news doesn’t cover events such as ~ “local tree pruned”, that’ shop finally “has a new facade” or “there’s now a one way system” and “the park now has a gate”. Who knew!

I know I am fortunate in many ways, but it isn’t always easy.  People will say ‘but you’ve had more time with your family’…mmm true, but not always as my memory would want it. The summer months, and winter months and any month can be hard…lots of people packing up for their annual getaway…or the annual ski trip. I remember doing that. Advertisers tell you, you should be doing it or well, who are you in society?!!

Packing weeks in advance, trying to keep the clean clothes out of famillies reach to avoid doubling up, running the fridge down…accepting a fond farewell to that tender plant you knew just wouldn’t make it. But I remind myself, ‘I have had those experiences’, many haven’t.

20160709_210155

I guess what I want to say is & what I need to say is, it’s ok. It’s ok to admit you don’t feel ok about it. That there are so many parts of life you miss. But that tomorrow, hopefully will bring renewed hope and renewed inner peace. You do what you can with what you have & that really is all you can do.

Stop comparing, be at peace… & that butterfly you just noticed resting on the tree, the toad inching across the garden waiting for you to stop watching, the Sparrows gathered for a chat or the Swan or Heron formation fly past you just saw…in your quietness, you experienced that. Many, far, far more confined, or far more busy, won’t have had the opportunity to notice or see that at all.

Be at peace. God bless.

John 14:27 (NIV) ~ Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled…and do not be afraid.

Song suggestion ~

Laura Mvula – Green garden

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s